A wedding day is one of the greatest joys and occasions of a lifetime! Whether your event is big, or small, at a lavish venue, or in a friend’s backyard, on a beach, in the woods, or in a garden or park, you’ll most definitely remember your wedding for the rest of your life. Weddings celebrate the joining of a couple and, by extension, celebrate the joining of two families.
When beloved family members have passed on and are not present for your special day, it’s only natural to wish they could be right there with you in your joy, and are remembered and thought of with love and devotion.
One of the services that I offer is a Memorial Ritual that can be performed in numerous ways—all very special and tailored to the desires of the couple. Thankfully, there are many ways to remember and honor a lost loved one during the ceremony, reception, or both.
Place a special memento on the bride’s bouquet
This option is gentle and beautiful. Any special souvenir, such as a piece of lace from a grandmother’s wedding dress, a photo of your mother in a locket, or a special necklace handed down to you. You can also use ribbon to wrap the stems of the bouquet and help hold a loved one’s cherished item securely to your bouquet.
Pin a special item to the bride’s dress or gown
If a lost loved one didn’t have anything you might could wear on your wedding day, you can always “wear it” by way of pinning it inside a pocket of your wedding dress or to the underside of your dresses skirt so that you can hold that remembrance close to your heart without having to share those special items with the rest of your guests if you choose not to.
Choose a stand-out flower in the bride’s bouquet
Did your loved one have a favorite flower? Why not add one into the bouquet in honor of your loved one? How about one red rose? Or, a white lily? Already have white in your bouquet? Choose a color you don’t have so the single flower will stand out. Greenery can also serve as a fitting reminder.
Create a pocket square for the groom from a piece of clothing
If your loved one had a handkerchief or pocket square, you might decide to use it as-is. You can also sew one by using fabric from a piece of their clothing such as a dress, shirt, or tie.
Mention them in your vows
What did your loved one teach you about love and marriage? What example did they set for you in life? Consider mentioning what you learned from them about life and love that you plan to share with your intended. Share those thoughts during your vows as a way to bring them into the ceremony.
Write a tribute note
Include a poem, reading, or scripture in your wedding program along with the name or names of those in your family who passed away.
Light a candle
During the ceremony or reception, take a moment to light a candle to remember your loved ones who passed away. This is also a good time to read a memorial poem in their honor or pray.
Incorporate a song into your ceremony or reception
Is there a certain song that reminds you of your loved one? Consider playing or dancing to a song that you shared with a lost loved one as a way of bringing the memory of them into your special day.
Set up a memorial table
Set aside a special table, whether it’s a reception table or a small gift table. Fill the tabletop with photos of your loved ones, candles, special mementos, and other things that will help them remember them. This is a wonderful way to honor your loved ones and it allows your guests to take a moment to remember them, as well.
Set aside a memorial seat
Set aside a memorial seat that’s “reserved” for your loved one who passed away. You can set aside a seat for the ceremony, reception, or both. Place a framed photo of them with a flower in the seat or place of honor.
Light lanterns
Consider lighting up battery-operated lanterns in honor of your loved one. You can place them near the altar, toward the front or back of the aisle, or on your gift or card table. Include a sign with the names of your loved ones and how they continue to “guide you” or “light your way.”
Donate to their favorite charity
Whether you have a large wedding or a small one, you’ll probably receive cash and checks from guests. Consider donating an amount to your loved one’s favorite charity in their honor.
Remembering and honoring your loved ones at your wedding can be beautiful and touching. There are no right or wrong ways to incorporate someone’s memory into your wedding. Simply choose what feels best to you and helps you bring their presence into your special day.
Happy planning!
JP Bobi
